Quick, here is a short True or False quiz.

TRUE OR FALSE: I believe in God.

Absolutely true. Every fragment that makes up the whole acknowledges this truth. The flesh, the soul, the body, the mind, the spirit: my entire existence accepts and proclaims that God is real.

TRUE OR FALSE:  I believe in the Truth as revealed by the Bible.

True, at least on most days. Some days I am bombarded with questions, and it is on those days that my confidence wavers. Those days are rare, but I would be dishonest if I did not admit they were as much a part of my life as the days where I accept every word of Scripture as inspired by God Himself.

TRUE OR FALSE:  I believe Jesus is who He and the rest of Scripture say He is.

True. I believe Scripture and history are in agreement. Jesus lived and breathed two thousand years ago. He taught and had many followers. The Bible says that He died on a cross and rose again on the third day after His death. Awesome story there; one that has moved my heart more times than I can recall. But it has also been the source of many sleepless nights and totally unproductive days. God in the flesh dead? God in the flesh raised to life again? Any adult that claims those truths are easy to accept is a liar. Scripture speaks to it. History speaks to it. But sometimes, my mind cannot fathom it. Sometimes, my unbelief is too strong to ignore. It is at those times I think about faith. 

I have frequently wrestled with the idea of faith. There are times—frankly, too many times—that I get the impression we Christians are supposed to go through life with total confidence in what we believe. And if we don't, we are not spiritual enough. Sure, you hear preachers and teachers say that it is ok to have doubts, but when they say that they are referring to things like uncertainty about God's will for our lives and not understanding why God allowed a loved one to die. Those questions are acceptable. If we ask the wrong questions, like: Is Jesus really the only way? Is the Bible true? Questions of that nature are not only discouraged but they are labeled as weak and unspiritual. I am convinced this is why so many Christians live very frustrated, disappointed lives.

We all know what the dirty, ugly, secret is. We all know about the giant elephant in the corner of the room but we refuse to admit it to ourselves and we definitely won't admit it to anyone else: We doubt. Our belief is not complete. Or strong. Or perfect. It is flawed and deeply human. Our belief is easily shaken. At times, it is easily broken. There are times that my intellect, my emotions, and my heart are telling me that there is no way Jesus fed five thousand men with one child's lunch. The Gospels say it happened. That means God says it happened. If I doubt one part of that, I in effect doubt that the Bible is truly the inspired Word of God. If I doubt that, then what do I actually believe? If I have nothing authoritative to hold on to, then on what am I basing my religious beliefs?

I grow frustrated when I hear other Christians sigh and postulate why more people don't embrace our beliefs. As if it is easy to embrace what Christians believe. Unfortunately, many Christians do feel our belief system is easily understood and it should make perfect sense to everyone, all of the time. Let me be blunt: That is insane! Scripture is full of examples of people of faith struggling with their desire to believe and their inability to actually do so. The disciples weren't completely convinced that Jesus was the Messiah until they saw Him in His resurrected form. It is not as if they spent 3 years traveling with Him and watching Him raise people from the dead, heal the blind, lame, and diseased, feed thousands with one small meal, and control the elements. Oh wait. They did see all of that and yet they doubted.

When was the last time you saw Jesus raise someone from the dead? How about heal a cripple? Yeah, it has been like . . . never. Yes, we have the biblical accounts. Yes, we have the historical record and tradition. Yes, we have the previous two thousand years of human history to show us the power of Jesus' life and message. But to expect Christians, from any age or generation, to live without doubts is unrealistic and damaging. It is damaging because it implies that to have doubts is to sin. So, when we doubt, and we all do, we feel guilty and defeated, which of course leads to even more doubting and more guilt. You see the pattern there? It's vicious and it is unforgiving. That is not the life Scripture speaks to. That is not the life Jesus calls us to.

Where does all of this leave us? I'm not entirely sure. I do know a few things that have given me great comfort, though. First, questions are acceptable ways of interacting with God. Scripture is full of questions, many of them unanswered. Questions don't make us sinful, or immature, or even unspiritual. Questions make us human and they show we are actively engaging our beliefs in a way that is healthy and God-ordained. Finally, sincere doubt can lead the way to a fuller and more vibrant faith.

True faith isn't the act of believing in something we already know to be true. True faith is believing in something that defies our experience. True faith is believing when all evidence points to the opposite conclusion. True faith is living a life that makes no sense from a human perspective but is exactly what Jesus instructed us to do. True faith has all sorts of room for doubts. If it didn't it wouldn't be faith. We aren't saved by assurances and truths. We are saved by grace, through faith. So, I believe, albeit hesitantly at times. And when I cannot believe completely, I cry out to God, "I believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" 

It's probably a whole lot harder if you have a lot to leave behind.

This week, school started up and at our district's convocation we got a special guest speaker. You might be familiar with H&R Block, the tax prep company. It's based in Kansas City and has 22 million customers, so they're doing all right. It was founded by two brothers, Henry and Richard Bloch. I guess they thought 'Block' was catchier than 'Bloch.'

One of the sons, Thomas Bloch, came to talk to the teachers of our district. What on earth does the heir to a tax service company have to do with education?

Actually, he already inherited the company. He started as a tax preparer out of college and worked his way up the ladder. Eventually, he was CEO of the company. I'm sure he had a very nice office to go with the million-dollar bankroll he was taking home. I imagine home for him was a ten-story yacht with a bowling alley, called the S.S. I'm on a Boat. Hey, I don't know how CEOs live.

Anyway, about the place in his life where a guy couldn't hire any more people to kiss up to him, Tom decided his life was empty. He decided that a million-dollar bankroll wasn't all he was born to accomplish.

So he decided to teach junior high algebra to inner-city underachievers.

Really? Teach? Algebra? Inner-city? Doesn't make sense. In his own words, he went from a place loaded with cash and respect to a place that afforded absolutely none of either. Now, you may know that the Kansas City school district is notoriously bad. So a rich white guy who actually expected effort and success from his students was still a sideshow. He was actually laughed at by parents when he told them their children were failing. They laughed in the face of the former CEO of a multi-billion dollar corporation. He was of no consequence to them.

He realized that he spent only half his time teaching algebra to his algebra students. The rest of the time was spent teaching character, citizenship or morality. That's off the record, because every politically correct person knows a teacher's job is to teach academics, not character . . . right?

Then he decided he needed to take it one step further. He was friends with Barnett Helzberg of the jewelry store chain, also based in Kansas City. Barnett had sold his company and was looking for a new challenge and, presumably, a large gaping money-pit to wildly throw his cash into, never to be seen again.

So they opened a school. They felt the name University Academy was pretentious enough to work, so they went with that.
The first couple of years were a disaster as students came in, realized the standards were abnormally high for the inner-city, and moved on. Eventually the school was moved, expanded to include all the grades, and students started sticking around and graduating.

Tom admitted that his sacrifice was easy financially. There are plenty of people who struggle far more to make the change he did. He had made his money. Even with all the money he's poured down the drain on a school, his family's lifestyle hasn't suffered. But still, I have to wonder how many days he thought to himself, while getting disrespected to his face by children and their parents, "I don't have to be doing this."

I think that's what ministry is all about. At some point, probably most ministers think, "I don't have to be doing this." Then they realize that, yes, they do. Because it's a calling.

I don't know if Tom is a Christian, but he could be. And he made a decision that makes a great story. Have you ever known anyone like that, who "threw it all away" to do something great? Maybe you're that person that people talk about. What's your story?

Matt is a teacher and pastor in Kansas City, MO. He is also the co-founder of SaveAfrica.com, a missionary endeavor in Sudan. He blogs at TheChurchofNoPeople.com, and lives with his wife, Cheri.

Copyright 2009 Matt Appling. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

When I was 21, a friend of mine got a group of us together and challenged us to write a list of 25 things we wanted to do in our lifetime. I've been dreaming about the future for a long time. Oddly, now that the "future" is here, I can barely remember most of what was on that list.

A few things still come to mind though: Take a hot air balloon ride, buy and refurbish an old house, start my own business, and write a book. It's clear a lot of the things on my list were what I wished for at the time, not what I really thought I could, or should, do. But not everything fell into that category. That last one—write a book—stuck with me. It was something I really wanted to do, or at least be able to say that I did. I'm not sure I believed then that I had what it takes to actually write a whole book—I lacked the persistence, the know-how and most importantly, the idea. What did I have to say that warranted 200 pages? But the concept intrigued me.

I think a lot of people make lists like that. There's even a Web site—mydream.tv—that catalogs people's dreams. Things like "tour Europe by car, invent something to improve the world, climb a major mountain, open my own restaurant, adopt a child, live a healthy life" and so on.

What are your dreams? Have you ever been in a classroom, a church service, a walk in the woods, or your quiet time and had a strong sense of His leading to pursue something bold? Have you had that distinct impression that tells you "this is what I was created to do"?

Dreams are powerful motivators. They inspire us to take risks, to push beyond our limits and to keep trying when we fail. And failure is no small part of the process of achieving dreams. But you have to be willing to let it shape you.

Like Joseph, the famous Old Testament dreamer, I had a lot of lessons to learn before any of my dreams could start coming true.

Joseph the Faithful Dreamer

"Listen to this dream I had," Joseph said to his brothers and then proceeded to tell them about his dream that implied he would rule over them one day. Needless to say, they didn't rally around his dream. Hardly. They tried to kill him. Only a sudden opportunity to sell him into slavery stayed their hand. Joseph wound up a servant in Potiphar's house.

When you already know how the story ends, it's easy to miss this point: Joseph was the favorite son of a rich and set-apart patriarch. No doubt he'd heard Jacob tell how God had singled their family out to become a great nation. I imagine Jacob lavished praise on Joseph, indulging his own dreams, "My favorite son, you will be the father of this great nation." And now Joseph was in bondage, far from his adoring father, forced to do work in a pagan land. He had every right and plenty of opportunity to be sullen, bitter and vengeful. He didn't know if he'd ever get out of Potiphar's house. He probably thought he'd never see his friends or family again. As far as he could tell, his life was over. Yet he was faithful.

Through his faithfulness, Joseph gained a trusted position in Potiphar's house. But this wasn't his dream. And it didn't last long anyway, because Potiphar's wife—failing to tempt Joseph into bed—falsely accused him, causing him to end up prison.

Even though Joseph did the right thing, prison was a step backwards. But he was still faithful. Of course, being the go-to guy in a prison wasn't Joseph's dream, but it was the assignment at hand in which to be faithful. While in prison, Joseph interpreted a dream for the Pharaoh's cupbearer, foretelling his imminent release and return to high service. The cupbearer promised he would remember Joseph. But he didn't. That happens. You can be faithful and still have peers and supervisors fail to do their part.

Two years passed while Joseph faithfully served in the prison. Eventually, the Pharaoh had a dream no one could interpret—and the cupbearer remembered Joseph.

God gave Joseph the interpretation and his insight on the years of famine ahead prompted the Pharaoh to elevate him all the way to second place in the kingdom. This was an unbelievable reversal of fortune for someone who had been languishing in prison. But this wasn't Joseph's dream. Even though he had a great title, wealth, and public honor, that wasn't God's ultimate plan.

This is key to remember because titles, wealth, and public honor can be a major distraction as we follow the dreams God gives us. Keeping in mind how much one richly ornamented jacket went to Joseph's head back when he was a kid, it's not hard to imagine him squandering such riches had he not endured the breaking and refining of his life in captivity. Without the daily tests of his character he'd endured, Joseph probably wouldn't have been much use to Pharaoh, the nation of Israel, or the future Messiah.

Faithful in Little

Where are you in the process of achieving your dreams? It would be nice if we could know in the moment that this painful rejection, that embarrassing failure, this boring and tedious assignment, that overlooked accomplishment, are all part of God's grand plan. But we can't. At the time those things happen, it doesn't feel at all like preparation for something big. It just feels awful. What we can do is follow the modeling of Joseph: keep dreaming and be faithful in little.

In the parable of the talents, Jesus praises the man who received two talents and the one with five. Both took efforts to multiply what they had been given, and about them their master said, "Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!"

Faithfulness today with whatever you currently have to work with is the path God calls you to take. How you do with a little responsibility will affect how much more responsibility you'll get. That goes for the job you're in right now, as well as for any internship, mission trip, volunteer work, or freelance assignment you might take on. If you'll handle each responsibility by faithfully meeting needs and doing your work as unto God, He will faithfully guide you to the next step along the way to realizing the dream He placed in you.

There were times when I was still learning how to write professionally that rejection was almost more than I could bear. I'd get another "no" or "not yet" from a potential publisher and walk away from the keyboard with thoughts of not returning.

Writing is hard work. To hear that what you've written isn't good enough is deeply personal. It's in those moments that I had to decide: give it up for something easier or press on. But every time I went back to the computer, hit the delete key and started over, the results were better than before. It was always worth the extra work.

The lesson: Be faithful in the little things and bigger things will follow. The hard work of writing has been well worth the process. That dream I had of writing a book? It's finally coming true, 16 years later. My first book will be released in January.

And now for that hot air balloon ride....

Candice Watters is the author of Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen (www.helpgetmarried.com) and founder of Boundless.org (www.boundless.org).

Copyright 2009 Candice Watters. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.