Quick, here is a short True or False quiz.

TRUE OR FALSE: I believe in God.

Absolutely true. Every fragment that makes up the whole acknowledges this truth. The flesh, the soul, the body, the mind, the spirit: my entire existence accepts and proclaims that God is real.

TRUE OR FALSE:  I believe in the Truth as revealed by the Bible.

True, at least on most days. Some days I am bombarded with questions, and it is on those days that my confidence wavers. Those days are rare, but I would be dishonest if I did not admit they were as much a part of my life as the days where I accept every word of Scripture as inspired by God Himself.

TRUE OR FALSE:  I believe Jesus is who He and the rest of Scripture say He is.

True. I believe Scripture and history are in agreement. Jesus lived and breathed two thousand years ago. He taught and had many followers. The Bible says that He died on a cross and rose again on the third day after His death. Awesome story there; one that has moved my heart more times than I can recall. But it has also been the source of many sleepless nights and totally unproductive days. God in the flesh dead? God in the flesh raised to life again? Any adult that claims those truths are easy to accept is a liar. Scripture speaks to it. History speaks to it. But sometimes, my mind cannot fathom it. Sometimes, my unbelief is too strong to ignore. It is at those times I think about faith. 

I have frequently wrestled with the idea of faith. There are times—frankly, too many times—that I get the impression we Christians are supposed to go through life with total confidence in what we believe. And if we don't, we are not spiritual enough. Sure, you hear preachers and teachers say that it is ok to have doubts, but when they say that they are referring to things like uncertainty about God's will for our lives and not understanding why God allowed a loved one to die. Those questions are acceptable. If we ask the wrong questions, like: Is Jesus really the only way? Is the Bible true? Questions of that nature are not only discouraged but they are labeled as weak and unspiritual. I am convinced this is why so many Christians live very frustrated, disappointed lives.

We all know what the dirty, ugly, secret is. We all know about the giant elephant in the corner of the room but we refuse to admit it to ourselves and we definitely won't admit it to anyone else: We doubt. Our belief is not complete. Or strong. Or perfect. It is flawed and deeply human. Our belief is easily shaken. At times, it is easily broken. There are times that my intellect, my emotions, and my heart are telling me that there is no way Jesus fed five thousand men with one child's lunch. The Gospels say it happened. That means God says it happened. If I doubt one part of that, I in effect doubt that the Bible is truly the inspired Word of God. If I doubt that, then what do I actually believe? If I have nothing authoritative to hold on to, then on what am I basing my religious beliefs?

I grow frustrated when I hear other Christians sigh and postulate why more people don't embrace our beliefs. As if it is easy to embrace what Christians believe. Unfortunately, many Christians do feel our belief system is easily understood and it should make perfect sense to everyone, all of the time. Let me be blunt: That is insane! Scripture is full of examples of people of faith struggling with their desire to believe and their inability to actually do so. The disciples weren't completely convinced that Jesus was the Messiah until they saw Him in His resurrected form. It is not as if they spent 3 years traveling with Him and watching Him raise people from the dead, heal the blind, lame, and diseased, feed thousands with one small meal, and control the elements. Oh wait. They did see all of that and yet they doubted.

When was the last time you saw Jesus raise someone from the dead? How about heal a cripple? Yeah, it has been like . . . never. Yes, we have the biblical accounts. Yes, we have the historical record and tradition. Yes, we have the previous two thousand years of human history to show us the power of Jesus' life and message. But to expect Christians, from any age or generation, to live without doubts is unrealistic and damaging. It is damaging because it implies that to have doubts is to sin. So, when we doubt, and we all do, we feel guilty and defeated, which of course leads to even more doubting and more guilt. You see the pattern there? It's vicious and it is unforgiving. That is not the life Scripture speaks to. That is not the life Jesus calls us to.

Where does all of this leave us? I'm not entirely sure. I do know a few things that have given me great comfort, though. First, questions are acceptable ways of interacting with God. Scripture is full of questions, many of them unanswered. Questions don't make us sinful, or immature, or even unspiritual. Questions make us human and they show we are actively engaging our beliefs in a way that is healthy and God-ordained. Finally, sincere doubt can lead the way to a fuller and more vibrant faith.

True faith isn't the act of believing in something we already know to be true. True faith is believing in something that defies our experience. True faith is believing when all evidence points to the opposite conclusion. True faith is living a life that makes no sense from a human perspective but is exactly what Jesus instructed us to do. True faith has all sorts of room for doubts. If it didn't it wouldn't be faith. We aren't saved by assurances and truths. We are saved by grace, through faith. So, I believe, albeit hesitantly at times. And when I cannot believe completely, I cry out to God, "I believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" 

Christmas time is awesome. It's also right around the corner. I can feel it. In fact, I start anticipating Christmas a littler earlier every year. I've tried to figure out why that is and I haven't come to any definite answers. Sure, I love the season, the traditions, the family time, the gifts, the music, the movies, and most everything else that is connected with this time of year, but those things don't seem to be enough to turn me into the sentimental sap that I'm becoming. And it's getting worse. For crying out loud, I got teary eyed watching The Santa Clause with my family the other day! What does it say about me that not only did that actually happen, but that I am willing to admit it to everyone I know? Don't answer that.

Sadly though, many of the people that I am around on a daily basis don't view Christmas like I do. For them, it's not very awesome. Most people I know are more depressed, more exhausted, more frustrated, and more hopeless this time of year than at any other time. It can prove difficult to keep my spirits high when I am around these miniature Scrooges, but I press on. Nothing can bring me down when Christmas is close at hand.

            (Abrupt shift in tone ahead. You have been warned. I promise this is going to make sense.)

I don't over spiritualize the stuff that happens in my life. Too often, I fail to see God at work even though I completely believe that to be true. I also believe that He intervenes in my life for my benefit. But I don't discern it like I should. I am prone to overlooking God's hand, to my detriment. One of my chief failings is that I shy away from outward expressions of gratitude and recognition when God is working in my life. I get uncomfortable talking about "spiritual" things around others, and I really don't get that. It's not that I am ashamed, but perhaps it's that I don't want to come across as one of those "Praise God!" people. You know what I'm talking about. These are the people that sound like they have one foot in heaven and one foot in a revival service. They don't seem to be part of the same world as the rest of us struggling believers. They never seem to have any problems and God is always talking to them and clearly guiding them. I'm not knocking these people, it's just that I don't understand them and perhaps that is entirely my fault. That's not my world or my life and perhaps it never will be. Where I live, things are not always easy or rose-colored. My life is full of questions and uncertainties. And I have a really good life from any viewpoint so I can only imagine what it's like for some people that have had a much more difficult journey through life.

            (...and we're back!)

That's a long way to get to my point. What were we talking about anyway? Oh yes, Christmas. That previous paragraph. . . that is why I love Christmas. Not making sense yet? Ok, I'll try to explain. I am very willing this time of the year to be vocal about God, spirituality, and all the rest. It's the meaning of the season, after all. Most people lower their defenses this time of year and that makes it much easier for me to be honest and truly express what God is doing for me, to me, and with me. I don't have to hide behind my well designed façade; I can let it all hang out in a manner of speaking. For most of the year I am a very reserved fellow, but you get me close to Christmas and I sort of lose my mind. Food tastes better. The air is purer. Life is richer. There is a feeling of rebirth or starting over that is intoxicating and it is impossible for me to ignore it or hide it. I have a light and it must and shall shine! 

Perhaps you are in love with the Christmas season as well. If so, I challenge you to put those good feelings to work. It can be daunting when so many people around you are discouraged and miserable, but isn't that a good enough reason to tell them why Christmas makes you so happy? During this time they might just need a little good news and you have the best news in the world. Share it.

Now, I just need to figure out how to do that the rest of the year.

Are you willing to believe that love is the strongest thing in the world—stronger than hate, stronger than evil, stronger than death—and that the blessed life which began in Bethlehem nineteen hundred years ago is the image and brightness of the Eternal Love? Then you can keep Christmas. —Henry Van Dyke

Phill Lytle is a father of 3 and husband of 1, living in Nashville, TN.

            So, that gets me back to my Moment of Revelatory Exhilaration, or MORE. (By the way, every time I write that phrase, imagine hearing it as a very loud Alan-Kalter type bellow.)  I can't say I was thinking about anything in particular while I was driving, so I wasn't exactly searching for anything beautiful, but beauty found me anyway. I had the radio on one of those "We play whatever we want" stations. The volume was low because the song that had been playing wasn't really doing it for me. So, because of that, I missed the first couple of notes of the next song, U2's glorious "With or Without You." Once I realized what song was on, I turned up the volume to a comfortably deafening level. Loud enough to hear Adam Clayton's overly simple, yet perfectly appropriate bass line, The Edge's precise guitar work, Bono's soaring vocals, and Larry Mullen's rhythmic time-keeping. I can't even begin to describe the rush of emotions that hit me. I forgot I was cold. I forgot my headache. I forgot the crappy day I had at work. I forgot about the bumper-to-bumper traffic. I simply allowed the song to "minister" to me. I know that sounds preposterous and touchy-feely, but it happened. And I am better for it. I don't base my theology on this song, even though it probably captures the typical Christian experience better than just about any song on Christian radio any given year. I don't have to agree with everything an artist is expressing, that is not how it works. I just need to be ready to catch a quick glimpse of eternity that the artist may or may not have even intended.

            I experienced MORE the first time I saw Bilbo Baggins and Gandalf the Grey hug on the big screen. I got hit over the head with MORE when Stephen Lawhead wrote about Merlin holding Arthur in his arms as their small boat sailed to Avalon. Every time I hear "The River Will Flow" by Whiteheart, my soul swells to touch heaven. (Pardon the hyperbole.) When Pocahontas/Rebecca takes John Rolfe's hand in The New World, my spirit smiles. I think God smiles too. These Moments of Revelatory Exhilaration are everywhere; we just have to be ready to open up to them. Mind you, the Moments are not just in the arts. It could be a sunset. A friend. Your family. I could go on for pages about the ways my kids help me experience MORE. My point is: We need to cultivate an appreciation for these moments God gives us. There is a fundamental reason we have this ability; it points our eyes to our Creator. If we truly appreciate the beauty and truth we find in our lives, it will only nurture our love and devotion to the Source of that beauty and truth.

            Open your eyes and your hearts and experience MORE.

Phill Lytle is a father of 3 and husband of 1, living in Nashville, TN.