I have a theory I'd like to share with you.

God has designed me to be a better listener than talker. I don't say that to brag because it's not like I had a choice as to how my personality was designed to be. There are positives and negatives to being a good listener. Sometimes I don't speak up when I should or take charge when I should. But one of the positives is that people feel comfortable talking to me (for the most part).

Here's the theory: people think you agree with them if you listen to them well.

Sometimes I'll just listen to someone vent and completely disagree with most of what they're saying. They might be angry about something when I in fact believe they are in the wrong. Or maybe a friend is telling me about a movie he saw recently and how much he loved it. I don't really respond, although the movie sounded terrible. Later on my friend is telling another friend about how he thinks I would love the movie. He just assumed that since I listened and didn't contradict him or say anything negative about his words that meant I was in agreement with him.

There's something about listening to people that makes them put their guard down and put their trust in you. It makes them think you're on the same page and agree.

The thing to learn is that when we actually do disagree with someone about something, one way to show your good intentions (even though you might disagree) is to just look at them in the eye as they're talking, smile, unfold your arms, not your head, and listen. It could be the first step to resolving the issue.

Jacob